The Anatomy Of Dishonesty: Defeating A Master Liar

So this is a rewrite of a previous article. One I wrote a long time before I found my inner writer. That being said, this is to all of my seekers of truth and warriors of communication. Profit, yet again, has arrived to assist in decyphering the code of dating a compulsive fibber. If you have, or currently live with a liar, a master of deception, or anyone that loves to “fake the funk”, pay attention. I have put together the ultimate guide in bullshit detection just for you. Trust, you see, is the bedrock of every relationship, as we all know, it’s the mortar holding it all together, the last piece of code to the ultimate algorithm. But when deception slithers in, it’s like an earthquake hittin’ that foundation, destroying the walls, leavin’ you wonderin’ what the fuck is left standin’.

Recognizing The Snakes In The Grass:

The spectrum of dishonesty is wider than your Tia Alma’s hips after Christmas dinner. There’s lies, flimsy as toilet paper, massive betrayals heavier than an elephant, and webs of deceit that a spider couldn’t navigate. All can leave you feeling like you swallowed a damn cactus. Knowing the signs can save you a lot of time and strife.

1. Story’s Got More Twists Than a Pretzel: First, your partner’s tale is all sunshine, next day it’s a hurricane of contradictions. Telling the same story differently to everyone, adding and subtracting details like my Asian teammate in calculus. That’s your first red flag.

2. Questions Got ’Em Dodgeballin’: Dishonest folks are the stars of that movie ‘Dodgeball’, always struttin’ the 5 D’s. You ask them a question, they dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge like Vince Vaughn. Always deflecting shit like a ninja. And like diamond Dave says “don’t go ninjin nobody don’t need no ninjin”. Don’t get left with more confusion than a tourist in Tokyo.

3. Defensive Much?: You ask about their plans, and suddenly you’re the bad guy. Ask about a missed call and they throw every call you missed in the past 3 months. To me, sudden defensiveness( that’s a word right )is a neon sign that reads: “BULLSHIT”. Justification thicker than pancake batter rubs me the wrong way.

4. Communication gone AWOL: Used to text all day and now it seems like carrier pigeons? No longer tells you about their day? Or suddenly all chitty chitty chit chat, blabbing about nothing? Pay attention to those shifts, Those are the whispers of something foul.

5. Body Language: The Silent Truth: Avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, weight shifting? Watch these micro-movements, nervous ticks that betray words. Micro-expressions, those fleeting flashes of emotion paint the picture clearly.

6. What Evidence?:Phone is on lock down like muthafuckin Fort Knox. Text history is non-existent and passwords disappearing like a fart in the wind. No sign of receipts? Trust your gut, there’s some weird shit going on.

7. ALWAYS Listen To You Gut: My intuition, that inner truth detector, is rarely ever wrong. That nagging feeling, a red flag in a shiny jumpsuit. I seldom dismiss it, and to this day, it’s never steered me wrong. Your subconscious knows more than you think.

8. Past Is Prologue, Remember?: Repeat offender, lying like it’s their favorite pastime? Major red flag. Leopards don’t change spots, liars rarely become truth tellers overnight. Now this doesn’t mean people can’t change, it’s just few ever do.

9. Accountability? They don’t know her. Blame the dog for the homework, aliens for the wallet, weatherman for the bad mood. Allergic to responsibility, dodging accountability like a bullfighter dodges a bull.

10. Emotions Got More Layers Than An Onion? Laugh when they should cry, rage when they should apologize, poker-faced when the house is on fire. Emotional inconsistencies? Cracks in a porcelain doll, revealing something broken underneath.

So, truth-seekers, eyes peeled, ears open, gut instinct on high alert. Deception’s a sneaky snake, but with these tools, you’ll be spotting the liars like a hawk with a magnifying glass. Remember, trust is the foundation, and truth is the key that unlocks real connections.

Deception Detox: Time For Communication:

1. Building The Trust Bunker: First things first, you gotta build a safe space where vulnerability ain’t a weakness, it’s a superpower. No judgment, no blame games, just pure, unfiltered honesty. This ain’t a courtroom; it’s a conversation where both sides can lay it all out without fear of retaliation.

2. Starting The Talk: So, someone suspects foul play. Initiating the conversation ain’t about pointing fingers, it’s about explaining how the deception (yeah, let’s call it what it is) stung like a scorpion in your underwear. Focus on the impact, not the blame.

3. Active Ears, Open Minds: This ain’t a one-man show, it’s a duet. So put down your phone, shut your trap, and truly listen. Soak in what your partner’s saying, like a sponge. Don’t interrupt, don’t judge, just nod, empathize, and let them know their feelings are valid, even if they’re wilder than shit.

4. Empathy: Walk a Mile in Their Shoes: Not gonna lie, I have always been terrible at this shit, but only when dealing with a girlfriend. Anyway, Emotions are running high, tempers are flaring, but hold onto your asses. Remember, everyone’s got their story, their reasons, their motivations, even the ones who lied through their teeth. Try to see things from their perspective, understand why they did what they did, even if you disagree.

5. No Skeletons In The Closet: Transparency is the name of the game. Both sides gotta spill the beans, share the whole damn story, context and all. No horeshit , just raw, uncut truth. Think of it like ripping off a band-aid — quick and painful, but the healing starts right after.

6. Digging for Diamonds: Don’t settle for surface answers, amigos. Ask open-ended questions, the kind that crack open the shell and reveal the gooey center of the truth. Why did you do it? How did you feel? What were you thinking? Be like a detective, sniffing out the motives behind the lie, the fears that fueled the deception.

7. Rebuilding the Bridge: From Ashes to Trust: The truth is out, the air is thick, but don’t give up yet. Trust, like a broken vase, can be mended, piece by piece. It takes time, effort, and a whole lotta communication. Keep talking, keep listening, keep showing each other you’re putting in the work. Trust ain’t built overnight, so be patient, be understanding, and celebrate the baby steps.

8. Setting Boundaries: No More Trespassing: Think of boundaries like guardrails for your relationship. Once you’ve patched the cracks, gotta lay down some ground rules. What’s acceptable behavior now? What are the consequences if the truth gets buried again? Set clear boundaries, expectations, and guidelines, so everyone knows where the line is and how to avoid stepping over it.

Sometimes, you may eve need to reach out and get help from a pro. A therapist or counselor can act as your communication translator, help you navigate the tricky bits, and provide tools to keep the conversation constructive. Can’t afford one? No worries, your buddy Profit is always available — to point in you in another direction. All jokes aside, if I can help, I will. Remember, communication ain’t about winning or losing, it’s about building something real, something strong, something that can weather any storm. The truth will set you free (and maybe even save your relationship).

Confrontation Time Mufuckas!

This shit can be daunting to the weak. Don’t trip, Profit’s got your back, like always. It’s time to go swimming in the murky waters of confronting a goddamn liar.

Step 1: Forget the accusations, they’re like throwing rocks at a glass house. Instead, grab a sip of truth serum (no, not LSD). Approach the convo with a calm but firm voice, be assertive but not overbearing. Listen actively, ask open-ended questions, and let them spill the beans. Remember, your goal is to uncover the why, not unleash the fury. This ain’t ‘The Last Dragon’ and you ain’t Bruce LeRoy.

Step C: Lies ain’t just words, they’re boundary-stomping grenades. So, build your defenses, fact by fact. Let your partner know what you can and cannot tolerate, and what consequences follow a repeat performance. This ain’t about being controlling, it’s about self-respect, about drawing a line in the emotional sand. Now I’m a firm believer in people can change. If I can change from being what I was to Who I am, ANYONE can.

Part 4: Dishonesty can be a fuckin corrosive force that eats away at your self-esteem and self-worth. So make sure you know that before you address the issue, recognize the profound impact that shit can have on your mental health. Don’t walk into a WMD fight with a toothpick.

Step Last: When the time has come to cross this bridge, it’s a solo mission, a lonely stroll into your soul, a quest for the path that aligns with your happiness. Weigh the options like a seasoned trader, consider the pros and cons like a meticulous accountant, and after you set boundaries like a fortress architect, just remember, this ain’t about proving a point, it’s about protecting your well-being. Choose the path that keeps your heart humming and your spirit soaring.

The Role Of Time And Patience:

Patience, it sure as hell ain’t my superpower. Five years in the pen, and it still feels like a foreign language. So yeah, navigating the rocky road of rebuilding trust after deception? That’s Everest compared to this patience dropout. But here’s the thing, trust ain’t a paper cut (even though them shits hurt!), it’s a slow-healing scar, and the only way it thrives is with time and patience. Think of it like waiting for a stubborn desert cactus to bloom — gotta give it space, sunshine, and zero pressure.

Same goes for your relationship. Addressing the lies, the wounds, the whole emotional rodeo? That’s a marathon, not a sprint. Both of you gotta be cool with slow progress, the occasional stumble, and the inevitable setbacks. They’re like a toddler learning to walk — wobbles happen, but you don’t ditch the stroller, you cheer them on, right? So keep the conversation flowing like a river of real talk, weed out the doubts like pesky garden gnomes, and let that trust blossom, slow and steady. Every honest exchange, every shared tear, every awkward laugh? They’re all fertilizer for a relationship oasis where trust reigns supreme. Remember, patience ain’t weakness (even though it’s mine), it’s the true reason that keeps your connection blooming, hearts open, and ears tuned. And when that trust blooms, well that’s the other real profit.

Time To Remodel The Relationship:

Let’s assume you decided to give it another go. Now it’s time to take action. After the truth bomb drops, gotta roll up your sleeves and get constructive. Think of it like fixing a cracked foundation — therapy’s the cement, mutual goals are the bricks, and open communication is the mortar. Patch things up, prevent future tremors, and watch your relationship rise stronger than ever.

But hold up, forgiveness ain’t a get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s about ditching the bitterness, not forgetting the lie. Let go of that resentment, give your relationship a second chance, and watch those trust wounds heal slow and steady.

And guess what? This ain’t just about burying the hatchet, it’s about growth, personal evolution like a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly. You’ll gain a deeper understanding of each other’s needs, motivations, and maybe even discover some hidden strengths. Your relationship will no longer be a fragile china doll, it’ll be a battle-tested warrior, stronger and more resilient than ever before. Relationships ain’t always sunshine and rainbows, sometimes they get shrouded in the fog of deception. But fear not, even in the shadows, there’s a path to trust and authenticity. Just keep these Profit pearls in your pocket:

• Empathy ain’t weakness, it’s a torch: Understand the why behind the lie, but don’t let it blind you to your own needs. Keep your head held high, your voice steady, and your boundaries unshakeable.
• Assertiveness ain’t a weapon, it’s a shield: Speak your truth, don’t let doubts fester. Communication is your shield against future shadows, keep it open and honest, like a windowpane to your soul.
• Self-care ain’t selfish, it’s your superpower: This ain’t a marathon of blame, it’s a journey of healing. Prioritize your well-being, lean on your support squad, and remember, a strong you builds strong connections.

Always remember, your well-being is the guiding star in the labyrinth of human connections. Embrace the challenges, learn from the shadows, and navigate your path to trust and authenticity. Peace out!